Gilbert High School, 2005, sophomore year. There were about 800 kids in our class but somehow, this one kid was in my 1st hour, 2nd hour, AND 7th hour. Every time I saw him in the halls, he had his wired earbuds in listening to his iPod, and he spent every spare minute before the bell rang scribbling away in a notebook. As the legend goes, I went home during the first week of school and told my mom, Mom. Theres this guy in my class, Ben. I dont know what his deal is, but Im gonna force him to be my friend.


Force may have been a strong word but semantics aside, we became friends, then good friends, then best friends. From the very beginning, Benji has always been one of the few people who allowed me to be whatever I needed and wanted to be: crying in movie theaters, laughing after burning cupcakes in for the third time, excitedly putting up dollar store Xmas decorations in our apartment, in a mood to watch a weird documentary, on a rant about feminism and Katy Perry music videos. Benji never asked me to be less or different. Rather, the opposite; he encouraged me to be my truest self, and then he loved me deeply for it.


So now, I plan to force him to be my husband... It only took 20 years.

"How," you might ask, having read the above, "does one 'force' someone to be their friend?"

Well, I'll tell you.

To set the scene, I need you to take yourself back to 2005: emo-pop, MySpace, Lord of the Rings, iPods, Halo, Segways, TiVo, all the '00s jazz.

Now imagine me: as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as a fifteen-year-old boy can get (so not overly). I don't know the exact day, but it must have been January or February because it wasn't hot outside. No wind to speak of.

Ten, maybe fifteen minutes before the end of lunch period, I started to make my way toward math class—earbuds in¹. I exited the main building and turned left to cross the quad, just the same as any other day.

Out of nowhere (and in spite of the aforementioned earbuds), I heard someone call my name, but either it was a mistake or they were clearly shouting at some other Ben—this school had more than 3,000 students at the time, and approximately zero of them had any idea who I was². So I kept walking, head down.

But after another few steps, I heard my name again, and this time, I had to look up. Perhaps, somehow, the caller was not mistaken?

Uh oh. That girl from chemistry who always wanted to know what I was writing in my notebook—what could she possibly want with me now? Sheepishly, I waved back but did not slow my pace. I don't recall whether she waved me over or shouted for me to join her and her friends, but either way she had extended the invitation.

This is the part where I'd love to tell you that I graciously accepted, went over, and properly introduced myself. But that's not what happened.

I was mortified, and being my awkward self, I decided to just walk faster. In that moment, I recall wanting nothing more than to get to math class³.

I went to school the following day firm in my belief that the event had been an anomaly and that my non-response would be reciprocated. The following day, Katie disabused me of that notion, but I, ever stubborn, refused to give in.

At least for awhile. After a week or two, her at-the-time boyfriend came over to me and told me the only way I was going to get her to stop shouting at me was to go and join the group.

Katie was and always will be an unstoppable force, and if you know me, you know I can be stubborn. But in this situation, I was not an immovable object. When the cards came down, I folded like a wet sock⁴.

And that's how we became friends. I give much of the credit to Katie's patience and persistence—traits I adore in her.

As for romance, the stars had yet to align for us. But they were still up there, drifting softly across the sky. Night after night, month after month, year after year.

Then 2022 rolled around, and I decided I'd been patient for long enough. I stole a kiss, and the rest is history.

¹ Obviously.

² Or so I thought.

³ If you're having trouble relating to that, so am I.

⁴ Which, as it turns out, was a very smart move on my part.